I woke up at 5:30 this morning looking forward to the day. I love the winter solstice and how it plunges us into the dark and forces us to find some glimmer of light.
The first thing I did was switch on the Christmas tree lights. Then I lit a beeswax candle and got into the lotus for a morning meditation. Oh my mind was buzzing around quite a bit, but I kept bringing it back to my posture, my center, to the flame of the candle. Who said meditation wasn’t work? It’s actually a Sisyphusian task to calm the mind and bring the consciousness back to the body. The quiet mind is cultivated like a garden.
Taoist philosophy holds that we each carry deep within us, The Guest. Who exactly is this Guest? Well, it’s our job to find out and the only way to do so is to tune in. I find this guest notion particularly helpful in maintaining a happy relationship with myself. Why? Because if I beat myself up over my faux pas, my daily stupidities, my sins against my fellow people etc. I will inevitably be taking a strike at my Guest as well.
Now, I pride myself on being a good hostess; it’s a role I step into willingly knowing that the success of my Martha Stewarding is measured solely by the contentment of my guests. My goal is to keep them happy. The same holds for The Guest lodged in our core who loves nothing more than a hostess who treats herself with care, attention and respect, who cleans up after she spills her emotions and who works hard to maintain harmony among her kettles. When there is calm in the home, the Guest feels welcome. This is significantly different from the Judeo-Christian Golden Rule. The well-worn “do unto others” also gets the job done, though it can lead us astray and into thinking that you are like me.
But you are not like me and if I expect you to think like me, act like me and drink like me (God help you if you do) I’ll never get out of my own head and accept your invitation to explore yours. Right this moment I’d like someone to scratch my back; should I do unto you and attempt to scratch yours? Of course not. This is obvious enough but how often do we project our way of seeing things, our desires and our expectations onto others who, frankly, are preoccupied with their own private screenings? The Taoist sages were clever. They knew that tackling the ego like Saint George was a losing battle. Instead they came up with ploys to trick it.
Here’s a good question to ask at the solstice: What will make my inner light grow? What will turn that flicker into a right out blaze? The answer might be immediately apparent or it might take some meditation to unearth, but whatever it is that you would like to change about, add to or subtract from your life, if you actually take steps to make this happen, it will make your Guest feel more at home.
The origin of the word solstice is “standstill”. Today I put on my apron and did the standing tranquilly posture of the Qi Qong repertoire in my garden. The point of this exercise is simply to stand still. If you do it attentively enough you begin to perceive mobility within your immobility. As I prolonged and deeply enjoyed my standing still posture, I sensed my Guest – who, by the way wears a Manchu pigtail, a loin cloth and has a belly like St. Nick –stretch out on the couch and sink into a good book by the fireplace.
So, my friends, on this day of standstill, don’t be afraid to light a candle and sit still. Be proud hosts and hostesses. Mind your Guest.
Happy Holidays to all!